I know, I know. Everyone expects to have sex on their honeymoon, right?! That’s what you hear your whole life. Sex on your wedding night – to finally consummate the relationship, then sex, sex, sex and more sex throughout the entire honeymoon. After all, this is the person you’ve been saving yourself for all this time!
Well, perhaps that was true in the days before the sexual revolution. Or perhaps that’s just what our parents or society wanted us to think. Cause good girls don’t have sex before marriage, right?! As girls, we spend our days dreaming of the big wedding, the beautiful dress, just the right flowers, the one day we get to dress up and feel like a real princess. Oh, and of course, of our prince charming literally sweeping us off our feet.
Finally the proposal comes and all that dreaming is put in to a plan. We (the girls) spend weeks or even months on end doing nothing that doesn’t have something to do with planning that “big day”! After all, we’ve got to find just the perfect dress, pick just the right color for the bridesmaids. Then there’s registering for all those great gifts, picking out flowers, finding a reception hall, etc. etc. Then finally the day is only days away. You think you have everything under control and it’s time for your plan to take action. You have bridal showers to attend (mine was on the Thursday before my wedding day to allow out-of-town guest to arrive), that bachelor party to worry about, rehearsal dinner (Friday night) and then finally on Saturday the “big day” is finally here. You’re up at 6:00 AM cause you just can’t sleep and the rush of the day starts. You shower, try to eat something, round everyone up and go decorate the reception hall, rush to get your hair and nails done, get your make-up on and wiggle into your dress with just enough time to get the 100th button fastened before the limo is there to pick you up.
Whew! You did it, you’re married, reception goes perfectly and ends around midnight. You change out of your wedding clothes and you both collapse on the bed hoping to get a few hours of sleep before your sister picks you up at 5:30 AM to take you to the airport so you can finally be off on your wonderful honeymoon that you have waited so long for. Two flights, three taxis and one boat later, you’re finally there!
You can finally relax, you made it. So now it’s time for all that sex you heard you were supposed to have on your honeymoon. After all, you have to right? You just missed having it on your wedding night! But, you find that after months and weeks of planning every detail of the wedding and the rush of the days just before, that you are completely physically, mentally and emotionally drained! So, what happens, you spend the first 2-3 days of your honeymoon just allowing yourself to relax, rejuvenate and letting your head come down out of the clouds. Half way through the honeymoon and no sex yet and you realize that you don’t have time because you have to enjoy the rest of the vacation – new places to see, new adventures to try, etc…
You get home and realize you not only did not have sex on your wedding night, but you didn’t even have it on your honeymoon! Oh my! Well you may find this unbelievable, but it happened to me and I have a few friends that have been brave enough to admit that it happened to them also. At least 3 out of 3 of my friends have admitted to experiencing this same phenomena! All three ended in divorce, hmmm, wonder if there’s a connection!
So next time, if there is a next time, I will be focusing less on the wedding and more on the honeymoon!